Welcome to the NBA, C.J. Watson...

The Diary of C.J.'s 1st NBA Game...
Oakland Style

2:15 PM
Get dropped off by Greyhound in West Oakland
and give the "I'm not in Kansas anymore look."
With John McEnroe, staring at me for no reason.





5:00 PM
After being robbed and beat, I find my teammates and we walk to the gym for tonight's varsity game.




5:20 PM
I put on the NBA Jersey for the first time, making sure I don't look at Brandan Wright's lanky ass.




5:21 PM
Ok, looks good. NBA.com comes in to take a photo of me with the jersey to show my moms but then fucking Brandan Wright starts to get nude and ruins my photo op.





6:00 PM
Met all the Oakland staff who reminded me that I'm on a 10 day contract, but not to worry, however they gave me an airline ticket back to Texas dated 11 days from today. Hmmmm...

Got a really nice glass Doritos Chips Plate from Mitch Richmond before the game, welcoming me to the club.

Apparently, with the hand shake I signed a free 8 year contract representing Doritos Soft and Chewy Chips. Damn.






6:15 PM
Time to Warm Up
Baron yapping at me about how much I'm gonna suck in his league. Apparently, I will be cut if I miss this free throw.



6:45 PM
I missed both but my 10 day contract is guaranteed, so I'm cool.

The game is about to begin and I get a taste of the West Oakland NBA crowd. Crazy and supposedly, Thunder is Chris Mullin, I had no idea! Damn.





7:30 PM
So I actually get in the game ...and I'm NOT fucking nervous at all, ok, ok, a little fucking nervous but I have a guaranteed 10 day contract I keep telling myself while I try to close my eye lids a little so my eyes won't pop out. Damn.





7:31 PM
My first "Heeeeeelp" of my NBA career...Damn.





7:32 PM
Getting angry, that my line reads -32 when I'm on the court...Damn.



9:33 PM
Two hours later, I make this jumper after everyone in the East Coast is asleep...Damn.




The local fans all cheer and love me, well, ok two that I had to give tickets to on the Bart 'or else' ...



10:45 PM
I finish my first NBA game with my name on the stat sheets:

C.J. WATSON (PLAYED) ||||| -16 ||||| 2 PTS

Most importantly...I am now in the history books...



like Moonlight Graham.



Let me tell you one thing:

It's so awesome being in the NBA and getting a front court seat to everything!!!


9 Days To Go...I'm gonna buy a Hummer now.